2018 Reading Goals & Blogging Confusion

Why, hello there. Long time no blog post!

As you can probably tell, I let blogging fall by the wayside a bit as 2017 continued. And if I'm really honest with you guys, I'm at a little bit of a loss of what to do with this blog.

On one hand, I love blogging. I started my first blog way back in 2010 to chronicle my college experience and have always found it to be almost therapeutic, a bit like keeping a journal that other people can read. When it comes to this blog, I've really enjoyed sharing discussions and reviews here as sometimes it's just easier to share thoughts in written form.

On the other hand, I've been struggling with the "one-sidedness" of blogging for a while now. I've never gotten much interaction here on the blog, which I know is partly my fault. I don't promote it nearly as much as I do my YouTube channel and I'm sure the fact that I'm still using Blogger and not a more popular and social site like Wordpress doesn't help. I've toyed with the idea of making a new website that can serve as a catch-all for my videos and blog posts but find myself incredibly intimidated by the very thought.

Another thing I really struggle with is reserving ideas for blog posts. About 99% of the time, if I come up with an idea I think is actually worth sharing, I automatically start planning a video on the topic. Once upon a time, I would have worked my thoughts into a blog post, but that is no longer my preferred mode of expression. I love the free-form nature of filming, the way I can just word vomit at my camera and edit into something cohesive and interesting later.

Over the past year especially, I feel like I've really come into my own in my videos. At the same time, I feel like I've been stuck as a blogger for a long time now.

In short, I'm a little unsure of how I plan to proceed with this blog.

For the time being, it'll be business as usual, meaning I'll continue sharing my videos and written reviews. However, I'm going to have to do some serious thinking about where I'd like to see this blog go in the future. If you have any thoughts or opinions you'd like to share on the subject, I'd greatly appreciate the help in sorting out my options.

Thanks and Happy New Years!

How to Get More into Reading

Not everyone is born a book lover, but I personally believe that everyone can learn to be an avid reader and book lover. Reading is like any exercise; the more you practice, the easier and more enjoyable it becomes. Hopefully, these tips will help you with that practice!

What I Read Growing Up

I was very lucky to grow up in a household where my parents not only encouraged my brother and I to read, but were also very open to buying us books. As if we didn't get enough to read in our bimonthly library trips, we used to spend hours in our local bookshops, agonizing over which book we would be bringing home. And when we got those books home, we treated them like gold: read them individually, read them together, read them aloud, read them over and over.  And, as you can see, I've managed to hang on to quite a few of them!

One reason these books means so much to me is that we weren't allowed to watch television as children. So with the exception of the occasional Disney or Studio Ghibli film, all of the stories and characters I was exposed to came to me through my books. So I've taken as best care of them as I can and will treasure them forever as my first lessons in storytelling and my first windows into other worlds.

Mid-Year Check In | 2017

Seeing as it's the end of June, I think I can finally make it official: I'm having a really rough reading year! I don't know what's going on, but I cannot seem to make myself sit down and finish a book. I've gotten into a better reading habit over the past week or so, so hopefully, the second half of 2017 will be better for my reading!

Don't forget to check out Retribution Binary by Ruth Baumann.

Top 5 Books of 2016

If you followed my reading at all in 2016, I'm sure none of these favorite reads comes as a big surprise. It was a year full of female authors, literary fiction, and fantastic translations! Just keep in mind that these are simply the best books I read in 2016 and not all of them were published in 2016.


The Vegetarian / Han Kang
> Read the review

Number9Dream / David Mitchell
> Watch the wrap up

Sarong Party Girls / Cheryl Lu-Lien Tan
> Read the review

Do Not Say We Have Nothing / Madeleine Thien
> Read the review

Spinster: Making a Life of One's Own / Kate Bolick
> Read the review

2017 Reading & Channel Goals

I finally pulled myself and filmed my 2017 reading goals and channel resolutions. Time to get on with the year!

Reading Goals
Read 50 books
Read my own damn books
Read from my Classics and Back to University TBR
Read more broadly genre-wise

Channel Goals
Continue film discussions
Just have fun making videos!

On Burnout and New Beginnings | Happy 2017

Hello there. It's been a while.

If you were following my 2016 Vlogmas videos and wondered why I suddenly dropped off the face of the earth, my deepest apologies. It would be easy to blame the busy season or the fact that I didn't start prepping for the month far enough in advance, but in all honesty, I have no excuse.

To put it simply, I just hit creative burnout.

This is something I've experienced a few times before, once when I tried a month long drawing challenge and another time when I spent two straight weeks frenetically writing chapters of a manuscript I still haven't finished. Back then, it felt almost like physically hitting a wall, like these projects were a rock that I'd brought so close to the top of the hill, only to have them roll back and crush me down.

Both of these previous burnouts left me unable to pick up a pen or even look at my computer for weeks. I remember reading a lot, listening to a lot of music, and vegging out at night with bad police procedurals on tv.

This Vlogmas-induced creative burnout, however, was different. Maybe this was a natural reaction to twenty plus straight days staring at my own face and trying to wrangle some sort of coherence and meaning out of my ramblings, but I couldn't force myself to make another video if my life depeneded on it. I normally feel some resistance to editing what I've filmed; maybe I just don't have a strong enough narcissistic streak to enjoy hours of listening to my own voice. This time, I couldn't even compel myself to prefilm footage to edit at a later date.

But where I was expecting to feel listless and disheartened, I discovered a real, intense desire to create. It's honestly been years since I've felt such strong creative inspiration and I've tried to let myself flow with that feeling. I've had a rash of new ideas that have me excited about writing and storytelling again and, for the first time in years, I found myself compelled to take another crack at poetry. It's probably not very good poetry as I don't have the patience to sit and craft something intricate, subtle, or polished. But it is a genuine rush of expressive energy, equivalent to Whitman's untranslatable, barbaric yawp.

Who knows, maybe I'll share it with you all one day.

So have I given up on creating videos? No; in fact, later this morning I plan on filming for the first time since December. But I also plan on cutting back on video content if that means being able to explore more varied avenues of creative expression.

Now, this might read like an entirely self-indulgent post, an overly-dramatic way of saying "I failed at Vlogmas because I wasn't feeling inspired." Maybe it is. But it is also my way of closing the chapter on 2016. Last year brought out both the best and the worst in people and I think that in times of turbulence when hope is very much a small, flicking thing, it is easy to lose your way creatively. It is easy to question what the heck we do anything for when the world seems like such a fractured and unhealable place.

At times like this, I think it is entirely appropriate to step back, to stop doing what you think you should be doing and take the time to get right with yourself. Take the time to sort yourself out so that when you get back to working, creating, or leading you can do so with fullness of intention and passion of spirit. Because in the coming years, we're going to need everyone, and especially those creators who are capable of making great, moving, and discussion-inspiring work to be at the top of their games.

Happy 2017, everyone.

Big Books on My TBR [Vlogmas Day 9]

I like big books and I cannot lie... Sorry, but it had to be said! And honestly, although I have quite a few unread, really big books on my to be read list, I seem to be really good at finding reasons to keep putting them off.

Books Mentioned
All Over Creation / Ruth Ozeki
The Casual Vacancy / J.K. Rowling
Tom Cringle's Log / Michael Scott
Middlesex / Jeffrey Eugenides
Deja Dead / Kathy Reichs
Outlander / Diana Gabaldon
The Bronze Horseman / Paullina Simons
The Crimson Petal and the White / Michel Faber
Hawaii / James Michener

On Being Biracial

Yesterday I put up one of the most personal videos I've made thus far, about my experience growing up as part of a multiracial family. Unsurprisingly, it wasn't the most popular video and I did experience a slight drop-off of subscribers and got my first dislike in a while. But I'm glad I did it, because I know how much of a difference it would have made for me growing up if I had known there were more mixed race people out there.

Thanks to those of you who have left really interesting, kind comments.

Reading vs Reviewing

Generally speaking, what I've always loved about the online book community is its honesty. I've always assumed that people sharing book reviews and discussions online are doing it out of a pure love of books and reading. But now, especially as so many of us online reviewers are getting opportunities with publishers and other media sources, I'm not so sure anymore.

I'd love to get your thoughts on reading books that you plan to review. Are you a skimmer or an obsessive annotater like me? Leave me a comment and let me know what you think!

On Diversity in Publishing

Seeing as today is Labor Day (and I ironically have work to catch up on), I wasn't actually planning on sharing anything here on the blog. That is, until I woke up to find Book Twitter aflame around the hashtags #WeNeedDiverseBooks and #IStandforDiversity.

Apparently the current diversity discussion among the voices on Book Twitter was spurred by a video made about the "problems with diversity." As I didn't think this video needed any additional views or hits, I chose not to watch it and have instead gathered information regarding its content from Booktubers and bloggers I trust. The video has since been taken down and the poster's Twitter account deleted.

Although I hadn't seen the original video, I still felt I wanted to participate in the discussion somehow. So I tweeted about my own reasons for supporting increased diversity and probably engaged one troll too many. I do plan on discussing how being bi-racial and multi-ethnic have contributed to my personal understanding of diversity and inclusion, but will do that in a separate video and post because it is quite the big topic.

Aside from participating in the hashtag on Twitter, I knew I would need to do a longer-form response here on the blog. At first I considered highlighting some diverse books or authors and then actually laughed out loud. If you scroll through my posts, especially from the last year and a half, the majority of what I read counts as "diverse reading." I have no need to write a special diversity recommendations post because that's what I already do, all the time!

So instead you get this rambly post about diversity in publishing. Sorry about that.

I say diversity in publishing and not just diversity in books because, at the most basic level, this is a PUBLISHING issue, not just a story-writing issue. The problem isn't that there are no diverse writers out there; all of my social media feeds are full of POC, LGBTQ+, and disabled writers eager to share their stories and ideas with the world. The real problem is that these writers don't get picked up by major publishers as often as straight, cis gender, white writers and, when they do, often do not receive the same level of promotion.

Much like the discussion of increasing diversity among the major Hollywood studios, what we need is a more diverse representation among the publishing elite. If publishers are able and willing to look at a broader range of manuscripts with a more inclusive eye, then more of these diverse stories and perspectives will be made available to the public for consumption. And if your argument against diversity in publishing is based on the idea that there is no market for diverse literature, you couldn't be more wrong. If this outcry in the online book community only proves one thing, it is that we, the readers, want more varied books so much that we are willing to fight for them.

You might be thinking, okay, Marisa. That's great, but what can I do? I'm just one reader.

What you might not realize is that you, the reader, have so much power. Seek to read broadly, from a variety of authors, cultures, countries, and perspectives. Support diverse authors by sharing their work. And you don't just have to do this online. Suggest the book to a friend, or add it to your library's request list. Use your spending power to support the publishers who are publishing books from a wide range of authorial voices and make it clear to the publishers who aren't that they need to start trying harder.

And finally, among the reactions to #WeNeedDiverseBooks and #IStandforDiversity were many people claiming that supporters of diversity were only considering skincolor and that diversity would actually serve to segregate readers and writers. To these people, I would first say that nobody would force you to read these diverse authors if you really didn't want to. But probably more importantly I would hope they could come to understand that while diverse stories do highlight what makes us different, they also underscore the human emotions, relationships, and experiences that bind us together.

Mid-Year Reading Goals Check In

On TBRs and Best Laid Plans

Another readathon has come and gone, which means that today's post should be a reading wrap up. And it definitely would have been, if I had actually read anything last week!

Don't get me wrong, I was excited to participate in this latest Bout of Books readathon. I knew my week was going to be a bit crazy, but I had my TBR all picked out and thought I could manage to finish at least the two books I was already in the middle of. As it turns out, although my week was really busy, I actually had plenty of time to read. The problem was I just didn't feel like reading at all.

I've noticed this trend a lot since I became an active member of the online reading community. Although I don't normally create to be read lists, when I do I am rarely able to stick to them. I often find myself distracted by other books I have sitting around or, even stranger, lose the desire to read at all and waste time watching tv or YouTube videos instead.

This has always been incredibly confusing to me, because I am a list maker extraordinaire. According to my parents, I wrote my first list at the tender age of 3 years old, jotting down my "to do list" in meaningless scribbles on scrap paper. I'm not afraid to admit I get a little thrill from checking off list items I've accomplished and my bullet journal was possibly the best thing to happen to my productivity levels in years. So why do I get so thrown by TBRs? Aren't they just lists of books waiting to be read and checked off?

It's possible this is an unforeseen product of my years as an English Literature student, during which any reading lists I wrote were full of required texts. Every time I put a book on a list, it starts to feel assigned, like it's something I absolutely have to read, and that immediately puts me off.

Are there any other list-makers out there who have a hard time sticking to TBRs? Any tips on how to get around this TBR block?

Beautiful Naked Hardbacks

Obviously, I'm a particular fan of illustrated cover design and an absolute suck for intricate detail. What are some of your favorite hardback cover designs?

Mood Reading (and What I'm Currently Reading)

A few days ago, Leslie from the wonderful Booktube channel Words of a Reader made a video about mood reading. In the video, Leslie talks about how sometimes she comes across books that have to be read at just the right time, giving the example of how she attempted to read Anne of Green Gables several times before she was finally able to read it all the way through and fall in love with the story. Today I wanted to pick up on that discussion and put my own spin on it.

I am the definition of a mood reader. My reading taste and mood can and does switch often and dramatically. This generally means I have several books on the go at once, something I know can actually be quite stressful for some readers. Maybe this is because I was an English Literature major and got used to reading multiple books at once. Maybe it's an unconscious attempt to read "all the books" at the same time. Who knows.

Generally speaking, there has to be something very special or engaging about a book to keep me completely occupied all on its own.

The best way to understand this reading style of mine might be to look at what I am currently reading. First up, we have two books that I have been working on (embarrassingly) since last summer. Kenzaburo Oe's Teach Us to Outgrow Our Madness is a collection of four short novels that I have been dipping in and out of, reading only a few pages at a time. Alhough this might suggest I should just give up on trying to read this very complicated, literary collection, I continue to enjoy the reading experience, no matter how sporadic it becomes.

Japanese Homes and Lifestyles is a book I'm reading in conjunction with a current writing project and that I turn to only when I'm in need of inspiration or cultural research. Again, while I'm enjoying the reading experience, I haven't found that this alone is enough to keep my attention for more than short bursts.

Which brings us to the books I've picked up most recently. I picked up Jhumpa Lahiri's Unaccustomed Earth last week on International Women's Day because I was craving both strong female writing and writing that was familiar to me. This short story collection is exactly what I was looking for and, unlike the Oe collection, I am incapable of putting the book down in the middle of a story.

And finally we have 1st To Die by James Patterson. Looking at the other books I've mentioned, this one might seem completely random, which actually illustrates my point about mood reading better than anything else. While I am completely in love with Lahiri's writing, I also spent most of Friday night watching true crime dramas on television and found myself decidedly in the mood for something different. My mom has been reading Patterson's Women's Murder Club books almost exclusively for the past month or so and suggested I start with this first book in the series. Again, this turned out to be the perfect fit for my current reading mood and I will probably finish this before I finish any of the others. Or at least, I will try to before my mood changes again!

Now it's your turn to keep the discussion going. What do you think about this idea of mood reading? Do you keep multiple books on the go for each potential mood, or do you prefer to finish one story in its entireity before moving on to the next?

7 Female Authors Who Defined My Childhood

In honor of International Women's Day, today I will be sharing with you seven female authors who played huge roles in my younger reading life. As a child of the early 90s living in a household where play was encouraged and watching television was limited to the occasional Disney movie or Animal Planet special, reading was my primary form of entertainment. 

Obviously, this is not an extensive list of all the female authors I read as a kid. I was an avid library goer and regularly maxed out the number of books I could borrow on my kid's card, which leads me to believe that I don't remember even half of the books I used to read. This is simply a selection of the authors I kept returning to again and again and who still invoke in me a strong sense of nostalgia.

1. Laura Ingalls Wilder (the Little House series)

The Little House series was probably the first series that I read all on my own. I remember being completely captivated by Wilder's descriptions of life in the big woods and on the prairie, mainly because she was describing it all through the eyes of a girl not so different in age than me. Looking back on it, I learned a lot about not only adventure and life on the frontier, but also about family, hard work, and death while reading the Little House books. Regardless of whether I was facing the same challenges in my living situation, I learned a lot about growing up by following young Laura.

2. Judy Blume (Blubber, Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret)

Reading Judy Blume was a game changer for me. After years of reading mainly children's fantasy and classics, the idea that someone had written about young girls in such a normal, relatable way blew my mind. This was the first time I read fiction that reflected my own reality back at me in a way that was both engaging and thought-provoking. I am probably not alone in believing that there are generations of now women who can attribute their first exposure to relationships and puberty to the novels of Judy Blume.

3. Cornelia Funke (The Thief Lord, Dragon Rider, The Inkworld Trilogy)

I couldn't tell you the exact number of times I have read The Thief Lord and the above picture doesn't do it justice, but if you look closely you can see my copy is well worn, the spine creased and the pages dogeared many times over. Even as a young reader I recognized that Funke's writing has a magical quality to it that allowed me to disappear into her fantastical worlds for hours at a time. Part of what I love about Funke's novels are the clear love for books and storytelling that radiate out from the pages.

4. Jude Watson (the Jedi Apprentice and Jedi Quest series)

This might seem like a weird one, but Jude Watson's Star Wars series were some of my favorite books as a younger reader. After discovering Star Wars in middle school, I was desperate to read anything and everything that I could get my hands on involving the fantastical universe and Watson's novels were like crack. I was and remain particularly fond of Watson's Jedi Apprentice series, which follows a young Obi-Wan Kenobi during his apprenticeship to Qui-Gon Jinn. I remain impressed with the multi-dimensional characters and complex plotlines Watson was able to craft and thoroughly blame her for my enduring status as an Obi-Wan fangirl. I return to Watson's books even today, especially when I feel a reading slump coming on or when I need a guaranteed pick me up.

5. J.K. Rowling (The Harry Potter series)

I couldn't leave the brilliant creator of Harry Potter off this list! When I first picked up Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone at 11 years old,  little did I know I would spend the next five years obsessively reading and rereading the series until the release of its epic finale. Not only did Rowling create a magical world that continues to capture the hearts and minds of readers (young and old alike), but she also taught me a lot about friendship and fighting for what you believe in. And of course, I have to give a shout out to Hermione, the role model for all bookish and school-minded girls everywhere.

6. Diane Duane (The Young Wizards series)

Diane Duane's Young Wizards books were a series I turned to in the long waiting periods between each Harry Potter book. All I really wanted was magic and boy, did I get magic. More of an urban fantasy than Rowling's wizarding world, Duane created a complex magic system that pulled from our own world and myth that I found completely spellbinding, no pun intended. However, the themes of friendship and family at the heart of Duane's epic novels are what really drew me in and kept me reading.

7. Meg Cabot (The Princess Diaries series)

Much like Judy Blume's novels, The Princess Diaries was a bit of a different read for me and yet one that I thoroughly enjoyed. It was the first young adult novel that I ever read during a period in which the YA we know and love today was slowly coming into existence. I loved reading Mia's diary entries, her quirky and distinct tone quickly informing my own writing and giving me a glimpse into the mythical teenage mind just when I was becoming a teen myself. Unfortunately, my love for contemporary YA fiction seems to have both started and stopped with Meg Cabot's writing, most likely because there is nothing quite like reading just the right book at exactly the right time.

There you have it, the seven female authors who really defined my childhood and early reading. Were there any female writers who had a big impression on you as a young reader?

Favorite Back Covers

What books have your favorite back covers?

The Lord of the Rings / Middle Earth, Female Representation, and Samwise Gamgee

I have long considered myself a fan of J.R.R. Tolkien's work mainly due to my long relationship with The Hobbit. However, after finally finishing his epic Lord of the Rings trilogy this past December, I have a new and intensified appreciation for Tolkien's imaginative genius.

I don't even know if I can begin to explain my love for the world that Tolkien created. Middle Earth is a magical place that reminds me very much of actual medieval texts, like the Lais of Marie de France or the epic Beowulf. You can see that in every word Tolkien is crafting a new mythology even more epic than the tales of King Arthur himself.

And Tolkien's descriptions are so detailed that I think, even if I wasn't already very familiar with Peter Jackson's movie adaptations, I would be able to picture Middle Earth perfectly. From the landscapes to the different cultures to the winds and songs, I honestly cannot name another fantasy series that brings these to life as well. I might actually enjoy Tolkien's world building more than the actual plot!

Of course, Tolkien's novels are as much about his characters as they are about the mystical universe he created. He crafts the twisted characters like Saruman and Denethor beautifully, while Sauron and his Eye loom so ominously in the background of the entire series that you can't help but feel oppressed and terrified even from the safety beyond the pages of the physical book.

I almost don't feel the need to talk about all of the strong male heroes. We have Boromir and Faramir, the brothers of Gondor who are so different in manner and yet so similar in strength. We have Elrond, Legolas, and Gimli, mythical figures of a fading past. Gandalf, the riddler and light-bringer who sets everything into motion. And of course there is Aragorn, wild Ranger turned king and savior of mankind. 

One complaint I have often heard from even avid fans of The Lord of the Rings is that Tolkien seems to have completely failed when it comes to representation of female characters. I would completely disagree. Yes, there are very few female characters in the trilogy and even fewer in The Hobbit. But I think this is a really clear case of quality over quantity. 

We have the river-child Goldberry, Tom Bombadil's beautiful wife who seems to have the power to heal all of the hobbits' ills. We have Galadriel, the beautiful and powerful Lady of Lothlorien, who can see all and whose gifts effectively allow the Fellowship to succeed. We have Arwen, the maiden who goes against her father's wishes to choose her own path, discarding immortality in favor of the man she loves. Arwen, who becomes a Queen of Men.

But most importantly, we have Eowyn. I probably should just write a whole separate post on this brilliant character but, quite frankly, I can't be bothered. In Eowyn's character Tolkien demonstrates a surprisingly keen understanding of how restricted a woman must have been in medieval society. Eowyn is so aware of the limitations she exists within that she would rather die painfully on the battlefield than return to her golden cage. Tolkien uses Eowyn's depression almost to say: look, this is what happens when you cage a free spirit. Man or woman, it doesn't matter.

And last but certainly not least, we have our little hobbits. I love them all individually and as a whole race, for their innocence and resilience. But I will always find myself somewhat partial to our wonderful, loyal gardener, Samwise Gamgee.

Sam is every bit as good and pure as Gollum is dark and twisted. They are, after all, mirror images of one another. Gollum has been turned and twisted before we meet him in either The Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit. He is a dark and violent character whose pre-ring goodness starts to leak through while he is in Frodo's service. Sam is the opposite, a pure and innocent young Hobbit who starts to display violent thoughts as he journeys further into Mordor. He grows suspicious of Gollum, talks about the creeping creature behind his back and fantasizes about killing him. Sam does actually kill Shelob, going berserk after the apparent loss Frodo. So what is it that I love about Sam and that distinguishes him from Gollum?

Sam remains pure and good because, unlike Gollum, he does not act for himself. Everything he does is to further the life and purpose of his beloved master Frodo.

But most of all, I love Sam because he reminds me that with enough determination, even the smallest of us can change the world.

2016 Bookish Goals & Resolutions

READING GOALS

Read 50 Books

Read 25 of my owned, unread books

Complete my Back to University TBR (coming soon!)

CHANNEL & BLOG RESOLUTIONS

More reviews

Resume my #YearofMiyazaki project

One vlog-related project a month

Top 5 Reads of 2015

TOP 5 BOOKS OF 2015

My Beloved World / Sonia Sotomayor

South of the Border, West of the Sun / Haruki Murakami

Fudoki / Kij Johnson

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest / Stieg Larsson

Shortcomings / Adrian Tomine